Understanding the difference between what we do, who we are and who we are becoming.
Throughout our lives, we are encouraged to pursue qualifications, develop expertise, build careers and demonstrate our value through achievement. From an early age, we learn that recognition often follows a particular sequence: we study, gain experience, earn credentials, assume responsibilities and progress through positions that signal our capability to others.
There is value in education, professional development and the disciplines that support our growth. Yet, somewhere within this process, we can begin to confuse external recognition with our own sense of worth.
When did we begin allowing a system, a title or someone else's assessment to determine what we believe we are capable of?
It is a question worth exploring, particularly for those of us who have spent years building careers, leading others and fulfilling responsibilities. But perhaps the greater question is whether we have become so accustomed to demonstrating our value that we have forgotten how to recognise it within ourselves.
The identity we build and the identity we inherit
Our identity is shaped by far more than our professional achievements; it is influenced by our upbringing, culture, relationships, experiences, beliefs and the environments in which we have learned to navigate life.
Some of these influences strengthen our sense of self and others quietly establish limitations around what we believe is possible, acceptable or expected of us. Over time, we can adopt these expectations without questioning whether they genuinely reflect who we are.
For leaders, this can become particularly complex.
We may spend decades developing an identity around being capable, dependable, knowledgeable and responsible to the point where others come to rely on our judgment, experience and ability to navigate uncertainty. While these qualities become part of how we are recognised, there is a distinction between the responsibilities we carry and the person carrying them.
Our roles describe what we do. They do not define the entirety of who we are.
When our professional identity becomes our primary reference point, we risk overlooking the other dimensions of ourselves that deserve equal attention such as our curiosity, creativity, values, relationships, aspirations and the wisdom developed through experiences that may never appear on a résumé.
These are not secondary to our professional lives. They influence how we think.
